I had to become a mom without my Mom
For my first topic I want to talk about when I became a mom and how I had to do it without the one person I just knew would be here for me, my best friend, My Mother. Listen, I had already planned my momma's retirement, and I told her I planned to move in and take a room whenever the day I have a baby comes. We had plans!
In April 2018, my mother was taken from me tragically; She was murdered. She was also anxiously awaiting the arrival of her 2nd grandson who later was born the day we laid her to rest!
Like most people, I have never had a loss like that, that could cut so deep. I remember not sleeping, crying, having nightmares and coping with drugs and alcohol just to get me through the day because I didn’t want anyone to see me sad. You know how people just look at you and feel sorry for you? I literally didn’t know how to be normal again!
In May, a few short weeks later, I found out I was pregnant myself and my due date was my mother’s birthday! Imagine the joy that came over me. That was my sign, my prayers answered. That was my mother helping me, even in heaven!
I immediately stopped drinking and smoking and embraced I was going to be a mom! Now this ride still wasn’t easy and I have an amazing support system that helped me through those difficult 9 months, but let’s be clear I still wanted my momma!
I remember things she instilled in me to help me be the woman I am today; I admired her strength; I admired her putting us (her kids) first with everything!
She loved us unconditionally, and that is what I have to give to my child. I had the pleasure of having front row seats to the best mom in the world!
Doctor appointments, planning my shower, labor and delivery! That’s where I needed her the most
Now that my son has been here a year now, I wish I can call her to share all his first with her. There are definitely many times I have shed a tear or two just wishing she could be here to see him grow, laugh and just hug him and spoil him! After all he is named after her 🥰
If you too are a mom without a mom or you had to deal with the loss of your mom during your own mom journey, please leave an encouraging comment below for others!
I wish you all the best in your mom journey
This touched me deeply, my mom passed away many years ago but at a young age I was in high school. Although it was years ago it still hurts at times. I am 64 years young and I need my mom. I see the love you have for your grandmother and I see her love for you all and the great grands. I don’t have my grandmothers either. You have a lot to give and you are blessed to have your grandmother in your life. I love when she shares pictures of the babies with me they bring a smile to my heart, 🙏🏽🙏🏽 For you in all you do your mom is proud of you.
I also lost my mom unexpectedly. She passed 6 months after I had my youngest daughter. It was so hard to cope with losing her and being a mom of three but in the end I realized my daughters are what kept me motivated. I’m so happy to hear that your delivery date being on your moms birthday motivated you to become the mom and woman you are today. I’m looking forward to your second post!